Sexism, Slut Shaming, and Not All Men

Just to make this clear: if you hop onto a post about women's issues; from body shaming to sexism, to slut shaming and go "BUT MEN ______" or "NOT ALL MEN!!!" you are not helping. You are part of the problem.

Yes. Men have issues too. Yes, we can acknowledge those issues. But no, they are not on the same level. And no, they shouldn't be brought up when women are openly talking about what they face every single day.

For example: I made a post about slut/ sex shaming. In that post I spoke about how women who enjoy casual sex are shamed and women who don't have sex are also shamed. I said that clothing is not consent, no matter what the person is wearing. I made sure to point out there is nothing wrong with enjoying casual sex, just like there's nothing wrong with enjoying monogamy. Or abstinence. Or any other legal sexual preference.

However, there is everything wrong with shaming people and assuming that know their private actions based on what they're wearing. Or trying to invalidate them for enjoying sex. A woman who enjoys casual sex is shamed and considered nasty. A man? Well, that's just fine and dandy, they're conquering the world one poon at a time.

I merely acknowledged sexual bias and double standards.

What I got back from a guy was (paraphrased) "men are shamed too! Like premature ejaculation or dick size", "we're all oppressed", and (my personal favorite) "if a girl respected herself she would dress appropriately and not flaunt it." He also didn't understand why "women fuss about it" (it being sexism and harassment.)

First off: Self respect is respect for YOUR DAMN SELF. It is determined by the self doing the respecting. It isn't tied to clothes, modesty (or lack thereof), or sexual status.

Secondly: Someone makes fun of your dick size? That's a mean thing to do. But until the day men have to pick an outfit out knowing if they are attacked one of the first questions they will be asked is "what were you wearing?" it's not the same thing.

Thirdly: "we're all oppressed." Okay, we all face judgment and, probably, discrimination of some sort. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE: we are not all oppressed on the same level. Women worry about these things because it affects us personally, professionally, and intimately. Even further, women of color are more oppressed than white women. Acknowledging this is intersectional feminism. It is not an insult to men to acknowledge that women face different oppression and discrimination than men do. We want to change it, which would benefit EVERYONE.

Finally: Women fuss about it.. Yes. We do. Because it affects most of our lives every day. From the too "friendly" co-worker to making weapons out of everyday objects like keys because you're worrying about walking alone. Talking about sexism and harassment is not an attack against men. It is an attack against sexism and harassment. Is all harassment extreme? No. It could simply be someone who gets too close to whisper to us that we have a nice ass and makes us feel unsafe. So yeah, we're fucking fussing about it. Because it's not the 1950s anymore and we're tired of being treated like prey instead of humans.

Don't be part of the problem just because you take a discussion about people who happen to have the same genitals as you personally. It isn't personal unless you yourself are a perpetrator of the things being discussed.