A Side of Shayracha

Just to make this clear: if you hop onto a post about women's issues; from body shaming to sexism, to slut shaming and go "BUT MEN ______" or "NOT ALL MEN!!!" you are not helping. You are part of the problem. Yes. Men have issues too. Yes, we can acknowledge those issues. But no, they are not on the same level. And no, they shouldn't be brought up when women are openly talking about what they face every single day. For example: I made a post about slut/ sex shaming. In that post I spoke about how women who enjoy casual sex are shamed and women who don't  have sex are also shamed. I said that clothing is not consent, no matter what the person is wearing. I made sure to point out there is nothing wrong with enjoying casual sex, just like there's nothing wrong with enjoying monogamy. Or abstinence. Or any other legal sexual preference. However, there is everything wrong with shaming people and assuming that know their private actions based on wh...

 PCOS.. what is it? It's Polycystic Ovary Syndrome . In it's simplest form it's an endocrine system disorder that causes hormonal imbalances that, to be frank, fuck shit up. It isn't curable, but it is manageable. This is me. In a public bathroom because I'm classy. I have PCOS. You will notice, I am fat . I carry most of my weight in my midsection, which is typical for people with this disease. Most of the other physical issues PCOS cause (hair loss, excessive hair on face/body, oily skin, acne) are easily covered or treated... the fat is most noticeable to people. Because of how our society views fat people, it's vilified. People see fat and automatically assume "fat and lazy." That however, isn't the case for most women with PCOS. (Or, fat people in general, but that's a topic for another day.) PCOS fat is contributed to by Insulin Resistance . Which means while our body does produce insulin, it doesn't process it like it'...

I recently came across a comment on a story about a woman being threatened with a gun for saying no when being asked out (repeatedly): "There's a thing called being nice about it. It's always ok to say no, but there's no reason to act like a bitch over a question. I'm so sick of the feminist bullshit. Whatever happened to gender equality? This is not it. I've been turned down by guys before, you move on. You rarely hear about men going ballistic over shit like this. I dare you to try to tell me women have never gone ins ane over being rejected. It happens. Again, not often. Stop feeling sorry for yourself because you are a woman. Get over it, fight for your freedom, but stop the gender bullshit!" No seriously, someone actually said that. Says the teenage white girl who has been blessed enough they haven't yet had to face or realize women's issues and inequality still exists which is why "feminist bullshit" still exists. I'm go...

Health concern trolls, the little angels of the internet. Those who don't hate fat people, they just want everyone to be healthy ! (To them though, healthy is synonymous to skinny; ignoring every other health concern to mankind except obesity.) People who smoke? It's their body! Those who drink often? Their body! Casual drug users? Their body, they're just experimenting. Skinny people who aren't eating "right?" Well that's okay, everyone indulges! Except fat people. Any fat person, no matter how they eat or how much they move: fat is bad . Fat isn't okay, fat is unhealthy! Fat people are a plague on healthcare systems (which in America is laughable seeing we don't have universal healthcare and our care comes from our own pockets or premiums we pay for.) Fat people don't get the "it's their body" treatment. Concern trolls care. "It's science" they say, but it isn't. It's prejudice.  They don't care a...

When I say size discrimination, I'm sure different things come to different people's minds. Because of this, I'm linking what Sizeism is. Sizeism is not just for fat people. (I will focus on that though, seeing it is the form of sizeism I personally experience.) Sizeism can be against people of any size outside of "normal." If you are too fat, too tall, too short, too thin... too anything besides average, you have probably experienced a form of size discrimination against you. Size discrimination includes stereotypes that are seemingly ingrained into society as a whole. For instance, the idea that all fat people are lazy or gluttonous or that naturally thin people starve themselves. The idea that fat people are automatically unhealthy and thin people are all healthy is because of size discrimination. Size discrimination can also come in forms of hazing or harassment. It's the comments about you just for existing in the public eye. The laughter. The people thr...

"No." That is a complete sentence.  It doesn't matter what someone is asking of you, no is a complete sentence and answer. You don't have to explain yourself of why it is no, you don't have to negotiate to compromise to another person's wishes.. no is good enough. No is making your answer and your wishes clear.  No isn't open to negotiation.  You don't have to justify you saying no to someones requests or demands. You should never be pressured into doing something you don't want to do. No matter if it's a big deal or something simple,  if you don't want to do it you don't have to do it.  You should never be forced or coerced into turning a solid no into an unwanted yes.  A yes by coercion isn't a yes at all. Saying no isn't "playing hard to get." Saying no isn't the same thing as saying "convince me." No is no. It is complete on it's own. "No." That is enough. Don't be h...

Why you so mad? Everyone is so upset about Caitlyn Jenner winning a Woman of the Year award. You morons. You freaking morons.   Glamour honored multiple women in multiple categories. It's now called the "Women of the Year" awards for a reason. The category Caitlyn won from? The Transgender Champion.   Other winners:  Misty Copeland, The Showstopper.  Prima Ballerina. She was promoted to principal dancer at American Ballet Theatre, the first African American ballerina to reach that level in the elite classical ballet company’s 75-year history. Cecile Richards: The Health Advocate  Yes, the Planned Parenthood woman, who stood up for women's rights to healthcare and debunked nasty rumors about her organization. The women of Charleston who survived the hate-motivated mass murder at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church; then continued to preach forgiveness. Elizabeth Holmes: The Entrepreneur.  A woman who encourages...

I am not a "good" fat person. I used to be a good fat person, but I'm not anymore. I'm a bad fat person. A good fat person, covers up. Not because they want , but because they feel they have to. A good fat person feels shame about themselves. They are ashamed of themselves, some of them hate themselves. Some of them do dangerous things to change their fat, to be the good fatty. They not only diet and exercise, but do it to extreme amounts that it's not healthy anymore. They starve their bodies, they put their body through hell... to try and be a good fatty. A good fat person tries to hide their size. They shrink back as much as they can, try to exist as little as they can, in as little space as they possible can. A good fat person apologizes... they apologize just for existing. For being alive. For taking up space. Good fat people apologize. I'm not a good fat person. I'm a bad fat person. I'm the fat person that will NOT apologize. I also won...

Personal boundaries... some of us feel selfish for putting them into place; I personally still feel like a jerk most of the time when I vocalize my boundaries to people who are toeing the line to crossing them, but despite these feelings it's important to recognize just how needed boundaries are. Many of us have been affected by the "disease to please", we're scared of disappointing people and just want to help them or not be hated. This leads us to making ourselves uncomfortable and sacrificing our own self care to care for others. I want to remind everyone that there's no shame in having personal boundaries. You're not a bad person for setting boundaries for yourself, it's actually a huge part of self care. What you allow to happen is what will continue, so if someone's actions or words make you uncomfortable: speak up! You are not selfish.  You are instead, caring for yourself. There's a difference between the two, no  matter what someone e...

Let me just start by saying, I'm really sick and tired of women being accused of being either "too sensitive", a "bitch", or god forbid a "Femnazi" when we assert ourselves as something more than a doormat. If a woman points out something sexist that you've said, that's not her being overly sensitive or anything besides being tired of the shit we constantly face. I don't think many people actually understand the microaggressions that women and even young girls are faced with every, single day. Ever since we were young we've heard a variety of things that make it seem like being a woman is a bad thing. For example: "You throw like a girl." "Don't be such a pussy." "You're acting like such a bitch." Women who sleep around are called sluts or whores. Men who sleep around get high fives and are called players; because making a conquest of a woman is a game. Usually, women are shamed for losi...

There's been a huge debate going on lately because of some poorly edited videos from a group known for demonizing Planned Parenthood. When really, there shouldn't be a debate at all. We all have our own morals and own beliefs, but our own morals and beliefs can't control another person. Regardless of where you stand on abortion, I'd like to take a moment to talk about what Planned Parenthood actually does and what the people calling for it to be defunded either don't know or don't care about: First off, Planned Parenthood does not sell baby parts. It's a preposterous notion and one based on again, maliciously edited videos. What Planned Parenthood does do is donate tissues for scientific research. (Hospitals do this too.) There is reimbursement for it, but not profit. It works more like a refund, the clinics and hospitals do the work, store the tissues, and ship the tissues; the places accepting donations then compensate them for those things. It's...

A wonderful blogger, Fran Hayden, has started a beautiful, empowering project for women. To make the female voice heard instead of silenced. You can find out more on her own blog : Here . Everyday, women are silenced. Even in first world "progressive" countries, there is a shame attached to being a woman; we're supposed to be weaker, meeker, and are chastised no matter how we act. This project is about defining ourselves, refusing to let others define us for us. To show that women are MORE than whatever labels society has slapped onto us. In light of this, I chose the word "Shameless." Because I have chosen to strip myself of the shame society has continually thrown and me and women everywhere. Shameless of everything. Women are shamed, constantly. Shamed for showing our bodies, shamed for NOT showing our bodies. If we're too sexual we're shamed for being sluts. If we're not sexual enough we're shamed for being prudes. We're to...