Setting Personal Boundaries

Personal boundaries... some of us feel selfish for putting them into place; I personally still feel like a jerk most of the time when I vocalize my boundaries to people who are toeing the line to crossing them, but despite these feelings it's important to recognize just how needed boundaries are. Many of us have been affected by the "disease to please", we're scared of disappointing people and just want to help them or not be hated. This leads us to making ourselves uncomfortable and sacrificing our own self care to care for others.

I want to remind everyone that there's no shame in having personal boundaries. You're not a bad person for setting boundaries for yourself, it's actually a huge part of self care. What you allow to happen is what will continue, so if someone's actions or words make you uncomfortable: speak up!


You are not selfish. You are instead, caring for yourself. There's a difference between the two, no  matter what someone else may try to make you feel about it. You're not a bitch or an asshole for not giving someone chance upon chance. You are merely setting boundaries. You are taking care of yourself by doing so. You are recognizing your own worth.



Learning to set healthy personal boundaries is necessary for maintaining a positive self image and healthy mental well-being. It's one of the biggest parts of self love there is! It is our way of communicating to others that we have self-respect, self-worth, and will not allow others to define us. We know our own intrinsic value, which is why we won't allow our personal boundaries to be crossed.

These boundaries are the physical, emotional and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being manipulated, used, or violated by others. They allow us to separate who we are, and what we think and feel, from the thoughts and feelings of others around us. Their presence helps us express ourselves as the unique individuals we are, while we acknowledge (and respect) the same in others.

Personal boundaries help make healthy relationships, be them romantic or otherwise. Boundaries help us recognize that each of us is a unique individual with distinct emotions, needs and preferences. Communicating these boundaries help us to better understand one another. 

To set personal boundaries helps to preserve your own integrity, take responsibility for who you are, and maybe even most importantly, help you take control of your own life and make self love easier. 
Set your boundaries, stick by your boundaries.. and remember to respect other's boundaries as well.