My Mirena IUD experience- The First Exam
What does the first exam consist of?
Paperwork. Lots of paperwork. Well, normal amount of paperwork- family history, consent forms, general forms. Lots of signing and when your name is as long as mine- you're thankful for squiggly lines.
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| What it felt like. |
The next step was peeing in a cup- just to make really, really sure I'm not pregnant. Now, that sounds simple enough but the clinic I go to doesn't have regular specimen cups- they use plastic little 3oz generic Dixie bath cups. So aiming into that without making a mess while squatted over a toilet was fun. My (male) fiance didn't get the challenge until I looked at him and pointed out we don't have the same set of aiming equipment.
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| A visual representation that isn't my actual hand or pee cup- you're welcome. |
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| We meet again, old foe Vaginal Speculum. |
If you've never had a vaginal exam- the process is very straight forward. Doctor will leave you to get undressed and don a ridiculous paper vest (think paper towels) that rips the moment you look at it (some have actual gowns for you to wear, oh the envy), and usually a similar paper lap blanket for modesty. Hop on the table and wait. Doctor comes back in while you're in this ridiculous ensemble that covers maybe a quarter of a boob- and the exam starts.
If you have a really cool doctor like mine is- they talk you through everything they're doing and update results as they go. Mine runs as a regular physical for part of it- check my heart, my lungs, lymph nodes in my neck, even a swallow test. Then comes the breast exam- if you've ever owned a cat it's basically like them kneading on your chest, making sure there's no lumps or bumps.
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| A breast exam is exactly like this. |
Yesterday I learned that my breast tissue on the side is a little dense. What this basically means is I have less fat on my breasts than supportive tissue- it's not exactly harmful (most pre-menopausal women have more dense breasts than their older counterparts) nor is it surprising as I've lost 4 inches off my breasts recently. Dense breast tissue is only a downfall when it comes to mammograms- it's harder for them to detect breast cancer on denser breasts. (I'm not to the age for mammograms yet, so manual exams are key.)
Then come the stirrups. Feet up, thighs apart, how are you doing doc- I didn't shave but I did bathe; you are welcome. My doctor is again, awesome, and talked me through every step of the way. Pressing on my abdomen to check for pain or ovary issues, speculum in and normal pap/STD test swaps taken. People swear up and down that pap smears can hurt but that's never been the case for me- the worst part is a mild uncomfortable feeling being spread with the speculum- but not pain.
This is where the normal pap exam ends and I get the bonus of IUD pre-exam. She spent a bit longer looking up the flesh hole to get a good visual on my cervix and idea for placement. It turns out- my cervix is quite visible and fairly low (I definitely knew that already from other adult pursuits) so- good news here- she doesn't think she will have to clamp my cervix for insertion. Still might have to- but there's a good chance I get out of the CLAMP ON MY CERVIX part.
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| Me on the right thinking of clamping my cervix.. ft CLAMP. |
The speculum is removed and then comes the most awkward part of the exam- the doctor had to lube up her fingers and vaginally examine with them to get an idea on my uterus position. Again- this wasn't painful at all, just mild pressure as she figured out which way my uterus tilts. Mine it turns out, tilts forward towards my bladder (learning all kinds of new things about myself!) so she believes insertion will be smooth sailing.
Finally I leave with only two instructions to prepare for next Thursday for the actual insertion appointment:
NO SEX. At all. None. To my understanding this is just to absolutely eliminate the possibility of conception. Playing it on the safe side. Unfortunately you're also not supposed to have sex for about a week after insertion- part of this is in case you're in pain. The other part is because sometimes you aren't fully protected until 7 days after insertion (this depends on what part of your cycle you were in when you got the IUD, ask your own doctor to be sure)- so if you MUST have sex before then (and can) use a back-up method of birth control. (Our good friend, condoms.)
30 minutes before my appointment I'm supposed to take 800mg of Ibuprofen- or as I call it "the cramp dose."
Those are the only ways I have to prepare for letting a little hormonal device become my BFF for the next 5 years.
Overall, my doctor thinks Mirena will be the perfect fit for me- it should help with my PCOS symptoms, it won't affect fertility (because we do want kids in the future) and it will get me off the estrogen that she agrees- is doing harm to my body.
It's a win/win/win.
Next update will be after insertion- the part most people actually want to know about. Until then- I'm going to practice being a sex camel. (Urban dictionary it.)
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| Me irl |
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