PCOS

 PCOS.. what is it? It's Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. In it's simplest form it's an endocrine system disorder that causes hormonal imbalances that, to be frank, fuck shit up. It isn't curable, but it is manageable.

This is me. In a public bathroom because I'm classy.

I have PCOS. You will notice, I am fat. I carry most of my weight in my midsection, which is typical for people with this disease. Most of the other physical issues PCOS cause (hair loss, excessive hair on face/body, oily skin, acne) are easily covered or treated... the fat is most noticeable to people. Because of how our society views fat people, it's vilified. People see fat and automatically assume "fat and lazy." That however, isn't the case for most women with PCOS. (Or, fat people in general, but that's a topic for another day.) PCOS fat is contributed to by Insulin Resistance. Which means while our body does produce insulin, it doesn't process it like it's supposed to. This can lead to several things: high blood sugar, increased blood triglyceride levels, brain fog (inability to focus), weight gain/fat storage/inability to lose weight, high blood pressure,  increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, and depression. Almost ironically, one of the ways to help manage PCOS is with weight loss; which is very hard to do without medical help when you have this disease.

Sounds pretty crappy so far right? Well, it continues. Along with the things caused by insulin resistance, chances of several types of cancers are also elevated. Women with PCOS are more likely to develop breast and ovarian cancers in their lifetime; all because of an endocrine disorder.  Our chances of endometrial and breast cancers are roughly 3% higher and some studies show the risk of ovarian cancers are more than doubled. (They have yet to take this studies to a larger part of the population, so exact risks are unknown.) All that is known is our risks of these cancers are higher, even more so if you are like me and also have family history of them.

Women with PCOS have higher rates of anxiety and depression than those without it. This can be attributed to both the insulin resistance and the hormonal imbalance caused by the disorder. It is estimated that around 45% of women with PCOS have anxiety issues (compared to only 18% of the general population) and 34% have depression (compared to 8% of the general population.) I can't speak for every woman with PCOS, but I personally do struggle with both anxiety and depression; before finally being diagnosed, panic attacks and suicidal thoughts made up a large portion of my life. Thankfully, I have my depression under control and the anxiety is now manageable without medication beyond that which controls my hormones. The longer you go without being diagnosed, the more likely you are to experience anxiety and depression.

Another issue PCOS causes is infertility. (It's actually the number one cause of infertility.) Despite popular belief this doesn't mean people can't ever have kids, it means for them it will be difficult to conceive. PCOS can stop you from ovulating, which of course you need for reproduction. If you are a woman like me and know eventually you want children, this news can be devastating. Not only does it make it more difficult to become pregnant, it makes it more difficult to remain pregnant and carry to term. PCOS increases your risk of gestational diabetes, pregnancy induced hypertension, miscarriages, preterm delivery, and stillbirth. The exact reason why PCOS causes these things is unknown, but it is theorized to be due to the extreme hormone fluctuations and increased androgen levels.

PCOS can also cause cysts on your ovaries, as you may have guessed by the name, but not all women with PCOS have cysts on their ovaries. If you have every experienced a cyst burst on your ovary, my heart reaches out to you. I have also had that pain, many women say it is worse than childbirth, I can't make that comparison; I can tell you that when it happened to me I vaguely remember sobbing in bed and praying for death.

These are the main things PCOS can cause (but there are actually many more things associated with it). Fat, insulin resistance, diabetes, heart disease, cysts, cancer... but people get hung up on the fat part of it.

Trust me when I say this: being fat is the least of a woman's concerns with PCOS.

And another person's body? Should be the least of yours. You never know a persons story just by looking at them, just like you wouldn't know I have this invisible disease just by looking at me.