A Side of Shayracha

Almost every day I'm accused of the same thing- "Glorifying Obesity." It doesn't matter what I'm doing- if I share a photo of myself I am somehow "glorifying obesity." I don't fit into their idea of what a fat person should be- which is ashamed and self loathing. Let's talk about what "glorifying obesity" is- besides imaginary. There is no promotion of obesity. What these people PERCEIVE to be a promotion of obesity is simply this: fat people existing, without apologizing for  their existence. That's all it is. When I was a miserable, starving myself, working out until I puked, self harming fatty- I was never accused of glorifying obesity. Because I was being a GOOD fatty- by hating myself I was doing the right thing. My health didn't matter to them then- and it sure as hell doesn't matter to them now, despite their arguments of only being "concerned." A good fatty puts themselves down. A good fatty comes u...

In high school I was ashamed of myself, my body. If you knew me in high school that might sound weird- seeing I hid it behind bitchy bravado. But it was there. Especially in the earlier years. I've always been fat. There's a lot of reasons behind it but how I got to be fat doesn't matter- how I was treated and learned to treat myself because of it does. Kids are jerks to each other- being the fattest kid in my grade made me quite literally, an easy target. It didn't help that my older brother helped all the other kids come up with ways to torment me. There was a time "Shaysquatch" was popular and kids would pretend (or sometimes use actual spray deodorant) to "Shay spray" me.. so I wouldn't eat them. Kids would wave and then start screaming- pretending I bit off some of their fingers. Basically- it went beyond your basic name calling. I had done nothing mean to any of these people. I just existed, in my fat body. I stayed strong in school bu...

Day of insertion. I took 800mg Ibuprofen before insertion and it wasn't too painful for me. More of an uncomfortable cramping feeling, but not a sharp pain like I was expecting. After getting the strings trimmed I can't feel it at all. Cramps continued but not severely- didn't take more ibuprofen at all the first day. (Insertion was around 4pm, went to bed around 11pm.) There was mild spotting- my doctor warned me about this ahead of time. It's normal for the first few weeks and even up to 6 months.                              Day 1- Woke up and felt fine- didn't take any ibuprofen at all because I was being optimistic. My spotting was pretty much nonexistent but I left my pad on just in case. (No tampons! Doctor warned about the strings not softening for the first week and that could be a very bad combination.) I was fine until around noon- then the bad cramps started. Lamaze breathing technique cramps. Tha...

Oh hey there, it's me again. Finally back from my IUD insertion appointment. This is probably the post most people want to know about, or maybe I just assume that because in my extensive research (okay, googling) before my IUD decision- I wanted to know all about the pain. My appointment started normally, more paperwork. This time it was a lot of consent forms and about 15 things I had to initial to show I read and understood the risks, aftercare, and everything in between. After that I was taken back to talk to the doctor more about the IUD and go over everything I just signed. Honestly? My doctor was so awesome and thorough I felt completely at ease in her hands. The main points are I may have irregular bleeding/spotting for 3-6 months after insertion, there is a small risk of perforation of the uterus (extremely rare), infection, or expulsion of the IUD. Expulsion is most common in the first few weeks and usually occurs to women who haven't had kids. (I'm one of thos...

Yesterday was the day of the initial exam- it was the first of three times my feet will be in stirrups in the next 6 weeks. This doctor and I are going to be very well acquainted by the end of this- one of us should have probably bought the other dinner before all this. ANYWHO- What does the first exam consist of? Paperwork. Lots of paperwork. Well, normal amount of paperwork- family history, consent forms, general forms. Lots of signing and when your name is as long as mine- you're thankful for squiggly lines.   What it felt like.   The next step was peeing in a cup- just to make really, really sure I'm not pregnant. Now, that sounds simple enough but the clinic I go to doesn't have regular specimen cups- they use plastic little 3oz generic Dixie bath cups. So aiming into that without making a mess while squatted over a toilet was fun. My (male) fiance didn't get the challenge until I looked at him and pointed out we don't have the same set of aiming equipme...

Mirena , ParaGard , Kyleena , Liletta , Skyla- with so many IUD options out there now, how did I decide on Mirena? Well, let's talk about the differences between the IUDs!  And through this entire thing, please keep in mind that the option that is best for me might not be best for you- contraception is highly personalized. IUD- Intrauterine Device IUDs are in two main categories: hormonal and non-hormonal. Mirena, Kyleena, Liletta, and Skyla all work by releasing a hormone into the uterus. ParaGard on the other hand, is a nonhormonal IUD made of copper. Because I have PCOS and issues with heavy bleeding- I knew I wanted a hormonal IUD, but let's explore ParaGard before diving into those! ParaGard's working component is the copper coil- because it doesn't contain hormones it's a great option for those wanting to avoid hormones, those who HAVE to avoid hormones, or those who have normal periods to begin with. The copper IUD works by being hostile to sper...

Hello there! For those that don't know me- I'm Shay and I share way too many details about my life with everyone. Including my choice of contraception. After trying to educate myself online and prepare for my own IUD experience- I decided to share my own with the world. So, maybe you found this in some random googling- I hope it helps you. (And to save everyone time, this post is about WHY I chose the IUD- more updates after insertion to come.) A little background information on my decision to switch to an IUD. I am one of the millions of uninsured Americans- I fell through the cracks of the ACA and my state didn't expand Medicaid- so my choice of healthcare is very limited. I get all of my women's healthcare through a Title X clinic  - it's a sliding scale clinic where I can still get my yearly exams and yes, birth control. Clinics like these are crucial to women like me- but they do come with some drawbacks. For instance, I'm currently on my.. third or f...

Overall thoughts on the box: I'm very happy with this one. It not only has several products that I will use but ones I've been looking to replace. Especially the makeup wipes- they are AMAZING.

Many plus size women believe they are limited in where they can shop and will put up with poor treatment just to continue shopping places (throwing shade at you Avenue) but this is far from the truth. I've composed a list of retailers that cater to plus sizes. All sizing is done in US sizes- but not all retailers are US based. Torrid - Sizes 10-30 in select styles (and more coming soon) Modcloth - Sizes up to a 4x SWAK Designs - Sizes up to a 6x (Use my referral link for a discount) JcPenney - Most sizes up to a 24 and select styles up to a 5x Rebdolls - Sizes up to a 5x Lovesick - Sizes up to a 5x Hot Topic - Sizes up to a 5x Ready to Stare - Sizes up to a 5x Walmart - Sizes up to a 5x Jessica London - Sizes up to a 38/40 ASOS -  Sizes up to a US 26 Yours Clothing - Sizes up to a 28/30 CityChic - Sizes up to a 26 in US (their 24 is comparable to Torrid/Lane Bryant 26.) Evans - Sizes up to a 28 Woman Within - Up to a 48W Lane Bryant - Select si...

Just to make this clear: if you hop onto a post about women's issues; from body shaming to sexism, to slut shaming and go "BUT MEN ______" or "NOT ALL MEN!!!" you are not helping. You are part of the problem. Yes. Men have issues too. Yes, we can acknowledge those issues. But no, they are not on the same level. And no, they shouldn't be brought up when women are openly talking about what they face every single day. For example: I made a post about slut/ sex shaming. In that post I spoke about how women who enjoy casual sex are shamed and women who don't  have sex are also shamed. I said that clothing is not consent, no matter what the person is wearing. I made sure to point out there is nothing wrong with enjoying casual sex, just like there's nothing wrong with enjoying monogamy. Or abstinence. Or any other legal sexual preference. However, there is everything wrong with shaming people and assuming that know their private actions based on wh...

 PCOS.. what is it? It's Polycystic Ovary Syndrome . In it's simplest form it's an endocrine system disorder that causes hormonal imbalances that, to be frank, fuck shit up. It isn't curable, but it is manageable. This is me. In a public bathroom because I'm classy. I have PCOS. You will notice, I am fat . I carry most of my weight in my midsection, which is typical for people with this disease. Most of the other physical issues PCOS cause (hair loss, excessive hair on face/body, oily skin, acne) are easily covered or treated... the fat is most noticeable to people. Because of how our society views fat people, it's vilified. People see fat and automatically assume "fat and lazy." That however, isn't the case for most women with PCOS. (Or, fat people in general, but that's a topic for another day.) PCOS fat is contributed to by Insulin Resistance . Which means while our body does produce insulin, it doesn't process it like it'...

I recently came across a comment on a story about a woman being threatened with a gun for saying no when being asked out (repeatedly): "There's a thing called being nice about it. It's always ok to say no, but there's no reason to act like a bitch over a question. I'm so sick of the feminist bullshit. Whatever happened to gender equality? This is not it. I've been turned down by guys before, you move on. You rarely hear about men going ballistic over shit like this. I dare you to try to tell me women have never gone ins ane over being rejected. It happens. Again, not often. Stop feeling sorry for yourself because you are a woman. Get over it, fight for your freedom, but stop the gender bullshit!" No seriously, someone actually said that. Says the teenage white girl who has been blessed enough they haven't yet had to face or realize women's issues and inequality still exists which is why "feminist bullshit" still exists. I'm go...

Health concern trolls, the little angels of the internet. Those who don't hate fat people, they just want everyone to be healthy ! (To them though, healthy is synonymous to skinny; ignoring every other health concern to mankind except obesity.) People who smoke? It's their body! Those who drink often? Their body! Casual drug users? Their body, they're just experimenting. Skinny people who aren't eating "right?" Well that's okay, everyone indulges! Except fat people. Any fat person, no matter how they eat or how much they move: fat is bad . Fat isn't okay, fat is unhealthy! Fat people are a plague on healthcare systems (which in America is laughable seeing we don't have universal healthcare and our care comes from our own pockets or premiums we pay for.) Fat people don't get the "it's their body" treatment. Concern trolls care. "It's science" they say, but it isn't. It's prejudice.  They don't care a...

When I say size discrimination, I'm sure different things come to different people's minds. Because of this, I'm linking what Sizeism is. Sizeism is not just for fat people. (I will focus on that though, seeing it is the form of sizeism I personally experience.) Sizeism can be against people of any size outside of "normal." If you are too fat, too tall, too short, too thin... too anything besides average, you have probably experienced a form of size discrimination against you. Size discrimination includes stereotypes that are seemingly ingrained into society as a whole. For instance, the idea that all fat people are lazy or gluttonous or that naturally thin people starve themselves. The idea that fat people are automatically unhealthy and thin people are all healthy is because of size discrimination. Size discrimination can also come in forms of hazing or harassment. It's the comments about you just for existing in the public eye. The laughter. The people thr...

"No." That is a complete sentence.  It doesn't matter what someone is asking of you, no is a complete sentence and answer. You don't have to explain yourself of why it is no, you don't have to negotiate to compromise to another person's wishes.. no is good enough. No is making your answer and your wishes clear.  No isn't open to negotiation.  You don't have to justify you saying no to someones requests or demands. You should never be pressured into doing something you don't want to do. No matter if it's a big deal or something simple,  if you don't want to do it you don't have to do it.  You should never be forced or coerced into turning a solid no into an unwanted yes.  A yes by coercion isn't a yes at all. Saying no isn't "playing hard to get." Saying no isn't the same thing as saying "convince me." No is no. It is complete on it's own. "No." That is enough. Don't be h...

Why you so mad? Everyone is so upset about Caitlyn Jenner winning a Woman of the Year award. You morons. You freaking morons.   Glamour honored multiple women in multiple categories. It's now called the "Women of the Year" awards for a reason. The category Caitlyn won from? The Transgender Champion.   Other winners:  Misty Copeland, The Showstopper.  Prima Ballerina. She was promoted to principal dancer at American Ballet Theatre, the first African American ballerina to reach that level in the elite classical ballet company’s 75-year history. Cecile Richards: The Health Advocate  Yes, the Planned Parenthood woman, who stood up for women's rights to healthcare and debunked nasty rumors about her organization. The women of Charleston who survived the hate-motivated mass murder at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church; then continued to preach forgiveness. Elizabeth Holmes: The Entrepreneur.  A woman who encourages...